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Does anyone else out there get superstitious about stupid things?

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The last post I made was when my father died in 2010. I know this is going to sound stupid but I blamed writing on this post for my father dying. When I was younger I tried many times to start a journal. Everyone told me that writing would be cathartic for my soul. (I was a very sensitive young person) Each time that I started a journal something bad would occur after my writing. I started to feel that journal writing for me would make bad things happen to me. So I stopped writing each time and at 15, never journaled again. Then in 2009, I thought it would be great to start a blog to journal my Master's degree journey. Boom! My father died. I would love to continue journaling on this blog and sharing my experiences, but I'm terrified. So, if I do not post again, not that I have anything great to say, I'm sorry blog 😢